Mystery Object #4: Suede Thing

Do you know what this is? I haven't a clue. It's heavy. It's solid and suede. The shape reminds of me Garfield's head because the "legs" come down like whiskers. Wait, Garfield didn't have whiskers! 

Maybe it's a suedehead.
First person to identify mystery object #4 gets affectionate garage mail and grab bag of goodies. And if you want this suede thing, you can pay for shipping and I'll give it to you.


Garage Newb Takes A Tour

My friend Julia came over yesterday to see the garage for the first time. She's making the big east coast move soon and was looking for sweaters to keep her warm. Luckily I'm swimming in them! Her impressions:

Before walking all the way in she stopped to stare at the left side closet, a little stunned. Well, the garage is stunning! She later said to me, "The Garage is really special."

Special ed special or special? I knew when her eyes sparkled upon seeing the racks. I've noticed ladies who love clothes tend to react this way. They see racks of possibility. Every outfit is way to transform completely, everyday. You never have to stay the same.

Of course there is the other camp who would love to a monster Salvation Army truck roll up to my front door. I understand the logic. They don't want to see me downing in the stuff, like this:

We did a little drowning. But we got too hot being pressed against the wool Casual Corner blazers. 

Julia walked away with a plaid Christian Dior sport cardigan in fall colors. The garage always loves you back. 


Clothespin Rocking Chair

My house is fill with WTF! items. The diamond ring sweater, the 50 year calendar, the penguin trucker cap, and the Whole Foods napkins are such. Mostly it's crazy clothing, but every once in a while I find things that defy explanation, like the clothespin rocking chair.

Ahh, the industrial design!

It makes a nice iPhone holder at best.

Seems like it would have been a gift since I can't imagine even my parents spending money on this. But then again, they did leave all that other crap. 

Check out the hilarious Crap At My Parents House for more weird crap!

The Watchman

At the Numero Uno Pizza my parents owned in the 80s, behind the hostess station was a one way mirror that concealed the office. We could see what was happening outside but no one could see in.

The office was really a closet that fit a desk, a filing cabinet, and two chairs, and where my parents sought refuge from complaining customers and waitstaff. It was our makeshift living room. My parents would sit at the desk signing checks and strategizing the next health department visit, while I'd sit on a box of Smart and Final tomato sauce, staring at the Sony Watchman.

In eight year old boredom I'd scratch up the Watchman logo with razors while watching Family Ties and listening to KISS FM!

My parents watched the channel 18 (the international channel) for Chinese talk shows. 


Infinite Floral Print

Where does the couch end and I begin? I could say that about all of the things in my house.

Infinite Floral Print shirt for sale. If you want the crazy couch and the curtains, I want to get rid of those too.


See's Candies Forever Gift Certificate

I found this See's Candies Forever Gift Certificate in one of my mom's dresser drawers. It's a Forever Gift Certificate because there's no expiration date.  It's also less gross than finding a fifteen year old box of chocolate.

In L.A. we get and regift boxes of See's on every occasion. Affordable and presently packaged, it's the I-Thought-About-You-But-Not-Too-Much gift. There's a See's at every mall. 

The bonbons come in mixed batches so you learn to identify the favorites quickly, like Bordeaux (buttercream and sugar, round with sprinkles) and scotchmallow® honey (marshmellow and honey, round and unmarked). Then you won't get stuck with the duds (peanut nougat, rectangular).

I'm not sure if my mom was saving this for a special regifting occasion or just stockpiling. But I feel like I need to redeem my two pounds of chocolate today, at least before the garage eats it up again. I wouldn't want my mom to have saved a forever gift certificate for nothing.
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